As the end of the year approaches, I thought things would slow down. But it always picks up pace until Christmas eve and then it slows down to a halt between Christmas and New Year.

November has turned out to be one of the busiest months – last year this time I had to move flats, plan a 3-week holiday in Sri Lanka and handle the chaos at work and I thought nothing can beat that.

But this year November so far has been a mad rush – like caught inside a permanent carnival, pushed and jostled by so many people and things, getting lost in the crowd, the noise, the carousel music and the wafts of smells from food-stalls.

I’m doing a course in Faber with Andy Stanton. Then I’m also doing PiBoIdMo and so far I haven’t missed a day. I’m in two critique groups, although I’m not doing enough on one of them. I’m working on a picture book and a Middle-grade novel at the same time. In  between came illness, Diwali – the biggest festival for Indians and work. Work pays the bills – I give it full attention during 9 and 7 every day. Sleep and food has taken a token role and I do it just in case I need them. And I’m going to the SCBWI Winchester Conference and I have to prepare for the critique night and the pitch competition etc etc etc. To top that I’ve taken the time to go to museums, art galleries and movies with my boyfriend.

For a week I was proud of myself – that I was living a full life. Doing so many things lest life should go past me, sitting by myself. It has been perhaps the most social of years for me, being in a relationship and doing thing together.

And then last night I suddenly realised – I’m missing thinking time. I used to sit in a park and do nothing. I used to wander around museums and vageuly noting down ideas. I’m missing silence – the quiet of just the trains going past, the sirens of South London.

And to be fair, I can find that time. I get up before dawn every day – I have two hours of nothing but city sounds. Saturdays, I can go to the Canada Water library and find a seat in the children’s section and just read. Or by the coot pond outside the library. Or perhaps go to the river, it is literally stone’s throw away.

I think I need to make that time for myself. Go jogging maybe, it might actually help fit into my clothes so I don’t have to go clothes shopping. Save me some time there. I need to make time for recharging, for thinking, for marinating my plot, for developing the ideas I’ve jotted down in November.

I’m going to find that time from today – even if it is just 10 minutes in a day. Find my quiet spot – no writing, just thinking. No gadgets, just me and the universe.